Laughter is the best medicine AFTER the fact, but anesthesia is the best medicine DURING the fact.
Laughter is the best medicine AFTER the fact, but anesthesia is the best medicine DURING the fact.
"You Wanna Put What, Where?" is for anyone who ever nervously asked, "Uhm, Doc? How many of those scary looking doodads are you planning to use today?"
"Absolutely hilarious! Brian has a unique/original style of writing. He created visuals for me that had tears running down my cheeks!" — Amazon Reviewer
🎧 Hey, can I say something here? Cool, then here's me, Brian, yapping about something we all know and don't love.
Click the "Play" icon below to hear a sample from the audiobook version.
Hospital shmoshpital — medicine just got funny.
"You Wanna Put What, Where?" is Jim Gaffigan and David Sedaris and Bill Bryson had a baby with Scrubs and St. Dennis Medical and Childrens Hospital...and no one knows who the father is. It’s a potent dose of humor injected into a six-month stint of "You gotta be kiddin' me. Now WTF is going on?", told from the often overlooked perspective of the one in the drafty and crinkly paper gown.
Hop on and take a gurney journey along with the author as his offbeat yet razor-sharp humor traverses an odyssey from, "Hmm...that's probably not supposed to happen" through "Wait, you wanna do what?" and finally to "And that's why nobody had to rearrange my innards."
Whether you work in healthcare and need a comedic release, or you’ve been the half-naked patient swinging your legs off the end of the exam table and imagining all the ways your exam could go horribly wrong, this is your hilariously relatable prescription for how to "win" your next surreal medical adventure.
📖 Sneak a Peek Inside
Check out a few snippets from early on when "this can't get any worse, can it?" was only just getting warmed up. Download the Free Preview (PDF)
"You Wanna Put What, Where?" - Digital Editions
How You Can Git Yer Giggles:
- ✅ Ultimate Digital Bundle`: You get BOTH audiobook formats and BOTH e-book formats.
- ✅ Audiobook: High-quality MP3 and M4B files (narrated by me, the captain of this sinking ship) for versatile ear pleasure.
- ✅ E-Book: Both EPUB & PDF formats for versatile eye pleasure.
- ✅ Universal Access: All of the files work on Kindle, Apple, Android, & PC…you name it.
- ✅ Direct Support: You're buying straight from the author.
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A Note from Brian: Thanks for checking out my book! When you buy directly from this site, you aren’t just getting a hilarious medical memoir—you’re helping me keep the lights on without giving a massive cut to the ‘Big Tech’ guys (you know who I'm talkin' 'bout). It means I can keep writing weird stories and making people laugh. I’ve rustled up the Audio, EPUB, and PDF versions together here so you can enjoy the story however you like. Happy reading...and/or listening...you do you!
Prefer a physical copy? While the Ultimate Digital Bundle is the most cost-effective way to get the story (and support the author!), I know some people still love the smell of a real book. You can find the Paperback and Hardcover editions exclusively on Amazon.
FAQ (Click to Expand)
FAQ (Click to Expand)
1. What kind of humor is this book?
It’s a mix of absurd, sarcastic, and sharply observational humor rooted in real-life medical experiences. Think brutally honest moments told with a playful, slightly unhinged inner monologue—where awkward doctor visits and “uhm…is that normal?” situations become genuinely laugh-out-loud funny.
2. Do I need a medical background to understand or enjoy it?
Not at all. The book is written from the patient’s perspective, not the doctor’s. If you’ve ever sat on an exam table in a paper gown wondering what’s about to happen next, you’ll instantly relate.
3. Is this based on a true story?
Yes—this is a humor-driven memoir based on the author’s real medical journey. The situations are real, but the storytelling leans into the comedy of just how bizarre and uncomfortable those experiences can feel.
4. How funny is it, really?
Readers consistently describe it as “laugh out loud,” “tears running down my cheeks,” and “funny on nearly every page.” If your sense of humor leans toward clever, slightly edgy, and highly relatable, it delivers.
5. Is the book an easy or quick read?
Yes. Many readers finish it in one or two sittings. The writing style is fast-paced, conversational, and broken into digestible moments that keep things moving and engaging.
6. Who is this book best suited for?
It’s perfect for:
- Anyone who’s ever had a medical procedure (big or small)
- People who enjoy witty, observational humor
- Healthcare workers who want a comedic break from the profession
- Readers looking for something light, funny, and different
7. Is the humor clean or more edgy?
It leans toward edgy and honest rather than squeaky clean. The humor comes from real thoughts people have but don’t usually say out loud—especially in awkward or uncomfortable situations.
8. Will this book be uncomfortable to read given the medical theme?
It touches on medical experiences, but the tone keeps things light and funny rather than graphic or heavy. Most readers say it actually makes those situations feel more relatable and less intimidating.
9. What formats do I get with the purchase?
The digital bundle includes multiple formats for flexibility—both audiobook and e-book versions—so you can listen or read however you prefer across devices like Kindle, phones, tablets, or computers.
10. Why buy this directly instead of somewhere else?
Buying direct supports the author more directly and gives you the most complete version of the experience, including multiple formats and bonus content. Plus, you’re getting the story straight from the source—no middlemen involved.
